flusterbunny: (mach 10-speed armor iron man)
[personal profile] flusterbunny
Man, I'm trying to figure out why Norman Osborn As Super-Duper Machiavellian Mastermind of Everything In the World just sticks in my craw so much - irrationally so. I mean, if Lex Luthor pulled this kinda bullshit, I'd probably be find it awesome, so the problem may lie with me.

Potential reasons for this:
1. Bendis is right and I'm an old whiny craplog who can't just deal with it and accept change. It's highly probable that I'm the father whose comics these aren't. I just have a hard time accepting whatever canon throws at me. If I admit he could be right on this, he has to admit that Disassembled, House of M and Civil War ALL SUCKED AND SUCKED HARD.

2. He shouldn't have been resurrected to end the clone saga in the first place, because it also involves HIRING AN ACTRESS TO DIE IN AUNT MAY'S PLACE AGH. An old gripe, sure, but then again I still bitch about how out of character Colossus was during Secret Wars. Although that reminds me - did that 'does he or doesn't he have Peter and MJ's Baby May stashed away somewhere' notion ever get resolved? Or is that erased by Satan?

3. I still resent the Gwen Stacy Goblin Kids and hold that against him.

4. He's a public psycho murderer and no amount of snake oil should cover that up - if Jeffrey Dahmer fired a killshot on the Skrull Queen, he'd still be Jeffrey Dahmer.

5. There has to be a character better suited to be a Machiavellian mastermind in the Marvel Universe than the guy who gets gooned on goblin juice and cackles. It feels like they made the Joker the president or something. Then again, Osborn kinda combines Luthor and the Joker, I suppose, and I guess he's got a special kinda dramatic (and sales) oomph being who he is.

6. I get all my information second-hand, so I might actually enjoy the books themselves if I actually read them instead of criticizing summarized plot points. It's just when I try, I get all "what the christ" surly about it and go back to my random peripheral books that stay as far away from the big events as possible.

7. Maybe I'm just wondering why NO ONE HAS TEAMED UP AND KICKED HIS ASS YET. Although now that I think of it, the whole Osborn saga is making a powerful argument AGAINST the registration act. "Hey, fight injustice! Sorry, can't, injustice controls my mortgage."

I guess the upshot is that I hate him and all his douchebag "Dark Everybody" so much that when this guy finally, FINALLY goes down, he's gonna have to go down SO HARD and SO VICIOUSLY and so MJOLNIR TO THE FACE that I might actually buy it to read it. Seriously, his HEAD NEEDS TO EXPLODE. Of course, Marvel doesn't have a good track record when it comes to satisfactory endings to mega-events. It always seems to come down to 'interesting ideas, frustrating execution' for me.

I think I just have to figure out how to stop taking comic books seriously.

But seriously. Fuck "Daken." Just FUCK HIM. FUCK THAT STUPID PIECE OF SHIT HOW THE HELL IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU ARE WORSE THAN A TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA HOOKER WOLVERINE CLONE GIRL? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST HOW DO YOU EVEN SAY YOUR STUPID FUCKING NAME?

Goddammit, make Deadpool good again, stop shitting on T'Challa, and give me back my bitter 30 year old Spider-Man 2099 and stop making him a run-of-the-mill teenager. And OH GOD FUCK THE RED HULK. FUCKING RED HULK?! SERIOUSLY FUCK THAT THING.

HEY MARVEL WAY TO MAKE CHARACTERS I HATE MORE THAN GAMBIT. FUCK ALL THIS SHIT.


As you can see, I have work to do.
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June 2010

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