I die for a livin' in the movies and TV.

The definition of fun: Getting your 2-year-old nephew to refer to a lame Fisher Price race-car driver as Colt Seevers repeatedly until he will always call that guy Colt Seevers.

Lee Majors in The Fall Guy an 90s show about a stunt man who hunted bounties and banged movie stars or something.

He's the unknown stuntman that made Eastwood look so fine.

Welcome Home Fucky Carmichael.

So I drive to Columbus at 2am and suddenly spin out in my rental car and go sliding down an exit ramp.

I fly for 5 hours on a jet with absolutely no leg room, unable to sleep because my ass and knees hurt and if they don't hurt, my neck hurts or there's some woman chewing her cud behind me or sneezing into my ear or the guy next to me is sleeping while rocking out on his too-loud iPod headphones somehow.

I get my car back only to find out the beepy thing on my keychain is out of batteries. I drive through shitass traffic for an hour to actually get home, stopping at the post office to pick up my held mail, only to find out MY DRIVER'S SIDE DOOR DOES NOT LOCK IF IT IS NOT WITH THE BEEPY THING. I go home, and aside from having to clean up the waterlogged LA Times pile-up that I do not want and only ordered to try and help the girl selling subscriptions to get through school (which was likely a lie anyway), I have to fight tooth and nail, for some reason, to undo the deadbolt on my front door so I can enter my home. This takes me fifteen minutes.

Then I get in, and I find out that not only did I somehow leave my heater on the entire 2.5 weeks I was gone (when I thought I explicity remembered shutting it all off before I left and made a point of it), but also my land line is dead for no reason I can discern.

Fuck Los Angeles, fuck the west coast and fuck everyone who likes beaches.

iPod meme.

Shuffle, first line of first ten songs. Guess!

1. And your hands are really shaking something awful as you light your twenty-seventh cigarette. Oh how long have you been sittin' in the darkness? You forget. - Crazy Baby by Joan Osborne (angrylemur)

2. Music is a world within itself with a language we all understand.

3. Here, your glass is empty. It's a hell of a long way home. - "Good Enough" by Sarah McLachlan (joiedecombat)

4. Well I'm terrified to tell you that you're scaring me to death, and I'm being realistic but I can't get out of bed.

5. I was dreaming when I wrote this. Forgive me if it goes astray - 1999 by Prince (lithera)

6. You know the best thing in life is free. Boy, you can give it to the birds and bees. - Money, covered by The Doors (richardjgrayson)

7. 'Bout this time of evening, out by the bay, turn the road lights on the bridge.

8. I started to wonder 'would it be fun to swallow my lover?'

9. She came to L.A. all the way from Bostontown, and she wound up on the screen, where I saw her going down.

10. Lilacs and tiger lilys won't be enough for me when you go. Little Pink House by The Czars (angrylemur)

Hey! Radio!

Hey, Radio! Nobody likes the Red Hot Chili Peppers as much as you think they do. Especially not latter-day Chili Peppers. Not even in California, all right? Didn't you learn this lesson with Hootie and the Blowfish?